SUPERWOMAN: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE?
The modern woman is doing it all: whether it’s handling a career or managing the home – and usually doing both – being superwoman seems like a full-time job. Over the years, being a woman comes with a variety of mantles attached to it – daughter, homemaker, career-driven go-getter, wife, mother, victim of the patriarchy, Venusian, you name it. Apparently, there is such a thing as being emotional and “too feminine” but behaving “masculine” isn’t encouraged either because it’s certainly not womanly enough. There are a thousand labels, and someone always seems to have something to say about it.
For too many years, society has decided what women should do – what she should wear, whether she is worthy of receiving an education, whether she can work or not, what kinds of careers are acceptable for her to pursue, what wages she is allowed to earn compared to a man, the number of children she should bear, what reproductive choices she should or should not have, where she will live after marriage, whose name she will take after marriage and often, who she should marry to begin with. While there have always been women who didn’t comply to these implicit rules, it comes with various social and emotional consequences. It is an uphill battle.
Despite all forces of resistance, women all over the world are making a difference to the world, to the structure of society and to themselves. Women are shaping the society away from the one that shunned them and are challenging the status quo, striving towards a more equitable society. Today, women are leading countries, making breakthroughs in industries whether in the field of healthcare, education or business.
Women have launched into space, joined the army, done once purported men’s jobs and have done it well. Women have contributed vastly in politics, made lasting impacts on various systems and institutions across the globe against the odds. If these don’t indicate superwoman-ness, it’s hard to tell what does. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There is always progress to be made, and our collective notions of equity and equality are evolving as we are.
It seems then to boil down to the labels and the meanings we attach to them. Either we need to change the definition of what being superwoman means, or else we need to take the pressure off of having to become one. Because whatever it is, it is exhausting having to prove yourself to the world that you’re worthy of that job position, that respect, the right to make choices that you want. Perhaps being a superwoman doesn’t have to mean achieving something extraordinary in every waking moment or having a smile on one’s face through each ordeal. Sometimes, being superwoman is being able to get out of bed and get through the day. Sometimes, it means taking time for self-care. Sometimes, it means drawing boundaries and asserting yourself. Sometimes it means pursuing your passion. Maybe being superwoman could simply mean being human, and as any woman out there – or man, for that matter – can testify, just that is enough of a responsibility to be getting on with at the moment.
Author: Debanjali Saha
Debanjali Saha is a counselling psychologist who works primarily with young adults using a compassion-focused approach in therapy. She is very passionate about Self-Compassion, a topic she has been researching since 2014. She has started a wellness community called Couch of Compassion, where she tries to help people relate to themselves with kindness through her writing and workshops.
